Written by Kim
Posted in Around Town

Central Park comes alive with NYC's first winter snowfall of the year.  The hill sledding was a fun favorite! It was so uplifting to hear screams of delight and joyous laughter permeating through the crisp winter air.  Everywhere we walked we were greeted by snowmen and snow angels.  I love my NYC backyard!!

Written by Chelsea & Kim | 17 December 2009
Posted in Around Town

Happy Holidays to all you in the vast blogosphere!  Here at Socialosity we celebrated in costume with a night of mayhem and candy!  We attended Trouble in Toyland, a dance, burlesque and costume extravaganza hosted by one of our favorite New York promoters: Dances of Vice.  It is no small secret that the ladies of Socialosity enjoy the creative task of dressing in costume and intermingling with like-minded strangers.  Being in costume drops the pretenses of everyday identity scripts... and it's amazingly fun.  Whatever you are doing this holiday season, we hope it is fun, safe and filled with love!

Happy New Year and May 2010 be Your Best Year Yet!

Lovingly,
The Candy-Cane Doll and Frolicking Ballerina

Written by Chelsea | 20 October 2009
Posted in Technology

I recently had a string of bad luck that included getting both my laptop and iPhone stolen within a month of each other. I just moved to Brooklyn and there has been a crime-wave that I didn't see in the idyllic neighborhood brochure.  After mourning the loss of these devices I have slowly been coming to the terms with my habitual technological addictions, a plight well known to many of our generation.

There has been a shift in the way I go about my days now and they include a lot more social interaction.  Before, when I had to be somewhere, I would type it in to Google maps and walk the streets of New York letting the screen and little blue dot guide me.  Now, instead of relying on Google maps, I turn to my fellow New Yorkers who can help me just the same (and with much more personality).  Don't get me wrong, having a smart phone is very convenient, but it also buffered me into a self-contained world of ear-buds and every application or tool I would need.  This insular world was safe and not until someone snatched it out of my hands and ran down the street with it, did I begin to really see the wold outside my touch screen  Beyond that small screen are interesting people, with both good and bad intentions, who I had been expertly eluding. 

So these unfortunate experiences have led me to two conclusions (more like two suggestions).  The first, be careful with your electronics in seedy parts of New York.  The second, and more important, is a challenge to unplug yourself from your devices and reach out to the people you pass by more often.  We are all living in communities and it is our choice whether or not to be engaged within them.

Written by Kim | 21 September 2009
Posted in Communication

I know, the name throws you off especially since most communication does not seem violent to the majority of us.  Nonviolent Communication or NVC is a model for connecting to others in times of need.  I've just read the book, Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg and now I'm getting geared up to attend my first workshop intensive Nov. 13-15 here in NYC. 

The basic premise; expressing honestly and receiving empathically using the 4 components of NVC which are: Observation, Feelings, Needs and Requests.

1. Think of any interaction that may have left you feeling unsatisfied. Recall what actually happened and strip away your judgment or opinion of what it means or what you think the other person was intending. 
2. Hold that focus while you try the next step of noticing and identifying your feelings.  To be clear, it's not what you feel about what occurred but what you feel inside yourself such as "I feel angry" or "I feel hurt"  You may notice more than one feeling as you begin to peel the layers away.  For a great list of feelings, click here.
3. Now take inventory of the need or needs that feel stepped on or unfulfilled.  The word needs could also be replaced with the word values.  For example, I have a need or a value around inclusion, fun and freedom.  For a great list of needs, click here.
4. Finally, formulate a specific request that you want the other person or persons to do.  This could simply be asking for someone to tell you how they feel in response to the components you have just expressed or it could be more action oriented such as "Please invite me next time you go out dancing."

The 4-step process is also applied to the other person.  What happened, how you think they feel, what needs are unfulfilled for her and what might they request of you.

The idea is to get away from labeling or judging and instead connect to the feelings and needs within yourself and in others.  That connection allows us all to be truly seen and heard.  It's so simple but simple is not always easy.
Give the exercise a try to further illustrate what NVC is.  If you find this interesting and want to build new ways of communicating especially under duress, check out a free introduction called First Mondays.