Conversational Take Over

Written by Chelsea | 24 April 2010
Posted in Communication

Recently I had a fun night out with friends, there was a small group of us, so the conversation bounced from person to person and included much laughter and wit. There was a nice flow to the conversation as people shared personal anecdotes and passing insights. This fluidity came to a halt as one member of the group started in on a story that was very complicated and came with an immense amount of back-story. The story went on and on and one by one people began to check-out of the ensuing conversation. First out comes the smart phones to play with, then the glazed eyes and finally no response whatsoever, even to parts that were particularly humorous or entertaining. By taking so long to tell this story he lost the interest of the other members of the group, disrupting the established flow.

This has happened to me when I have been the story-teller, so wrapped up in my own point to see that I had lost my listeners, and when I look around and realize that no one is really paying attention anymore, it is a deflating feeling.

Here are some suggestions to avoid this all too common conversation stopper.

Stories of length should be edited for your audience, take out any details that are nonessential to the story. The larger the group, the faster you need to cut to the chase.
Watch the body language of others around you; people are giving nonverbal clues of their lack of interest. A big one is looking at anything other than you -- their watch, phone or around the room.
If you find yourself to be on the receiving of a long-winded orator it's okay to say something. Keep it good-natured and direct, chances are they aren't even aware they have lost their audience.

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You want me to climb that!

Written by Kim
Posted in Across Borders

Sometimes traveling is about being comfortable with the unknown and then there’s those times you are full out conquering raw fear. What was described as an easy half day hike to Xela’s nearest volcano peak turned out to be about a 3000 ft climb that had us scaling rock at the peak. At one point we entered a crack of a cave in the mountain where we climbed and shimmied over and through rocks pieced together like a puzzle gone bad.

After looking down at the city below and the crazy path above, I told myself, “You can do this” and took it one baby step at a time.
Mi esposo, a city-guy really dug deep, took long breaths meant to calm and plunged ahead. Somehow this struggling woman in her late fifties even made it to the summit. Our hiking group was awesome, offering massive encouragement and many helping hands.

We were rewarded with exhilarated success, a beautiful view and a group of young Guatemalans flying paper air planes off the top. They were all wearing jeans and normal street shoes. We even saw guys carrying large piles of wood down the inactive volcano.

Going down was harder but we again had a reward waiting for us... a natural sauna to relax our sore muscles. The soreness felt over the next few days were a reminder of our triumph.

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How the Brain Changes Itself

Written by Kim | 05 February 2010
Posted in Personal Growth

Dr. Norman Doidge's book on neuroplasticity Actually great read for such a complex subject... at times I felt I was reading some sort of science fiction book.... the stories are astonishingly triumphant!

I love the idea that our brains can be changed to work differently... even help the blind see, post-stroke victims leading normal lives, and the stories go on.

Two major principles I got from the book are: "Neurons that fire together, wire together" and "Neural pathways must be used or you lose it." It also warns that for as much as our brains are flexible, it can also be just a rigid or more so and that's why change can feel so hard at times.

The conversation about what we can change and what we can't continues to spark great intrigue for me and this book opens the floodgates to my curiosity on how more knowledge in this area will affect how we wish to experience the world from a social or personal growth context.

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Central Park shouts with delight!

Written by Kim
Posted in Around Town

Central Park comes alive with NYC's first winter snowfall of the year. The hill sledding was a fun favorite! It was so uplifting to hear screams of delight and joyous laughter permeating through the crisp winter air. Everywhere we walked we were greeted by snowmen and snow angels. I love my NYC backyard!!
Winter smiles

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Babes in Toyland

Written by Chelsea & Kim | 17 December 2009
Posted in Around Town

Happy Holidays to all you in the vast blogosphere! Here at Socialosity we celebrated in costume with a night of mayhem and candy! We attended Trouble in Toyland, a dance, burlesque and costume extravaganza hosted by one of our favorite New York promoters: Dances of Vice. It is no small secret that the ladies of Socialosity enjoy the creative task of dressing in costume and intermingling with like-minded strangers. Being in costume drops the pretenses of everyday identity scripts... and it's amazingly fun. Whatever you are doing this holiday season, we hope it is fun, safe and filled with love!

Happy New Year and May 2010 be Your Best Year Yet!

Lovingly,
The Candy-Cane Doll and Frolicking Ballerina

Babes in Toyland